Monday, August 22, 2011

just a dream.

i tried and failed horribly at writing travel posts. le sigh. but in all fairness, i was too busy having fun? getting off with new friends and exploring the cities. YES! haha

so you know how when people travel abroad for a period of time they come back home and feel/act differently? well, when i left for my euro trip i said to myself that this wouldnt happen because im not one of those people - those people who go off to "discover" themselves. it seems a little bit odd, non? even as i type it im laughing.

but the truth of the matter is, is that i did. i came home a little bit different. a little more wiser. a little more smarter. and most definitely a little more stronger (not physically... although i did walk quite a bit if that counts?)

theres a bunch of little discoveries i made about myself this month but i think i'll just hone in on one. i learned that im quite a stress case. as carefree and easy going as i seem to be, when it comes down to it - im a bit of a freak. i had this nasty habit of needing to know what time it was constantly and i always wanted to be doing something.. i liked to be preoccupied and i enjoyed the hustle and bustle of life. and it bothered me because i realized that i had no idea how to relax. i mean, when people say relax the image of sleeping on a beach comes to mind - margarita in hand, obvs. and ya, i guess thats a form of relaxation but i couldnt really close my mind; my mind wouldnt stop thinking about work, drama, boys etc.

it took me three weeks but it finally happened. i learned how to relax properly. i stopped trying to make to do lists of the days events and i didnt ask for the time as much. i ate when i was hungry NOT because it was time to eat and i slept when it was dark.. or maybe even when it was daylight (i like to live dangerously). i learned that i really shouldnt take things so seriously. it is what it is. its been my mantra for some time and sadly for the last little while i havent been following it.

three cheers for self reflection? three cheers for adventure? three cheers for finally understanding what it means to calm the fuck down.