daydreamin.

my family.. as much as i love them.. will judge everyone, especially their own. this past weekend i went to banff for my cousin ed's wedding and may i just say.. that i spent a good couple of days mentally preparing myself for what was to come. WOE IS ME.


insert anxiety attack.


what outfits am i bringing? i need multiple outfits throught the entire weekend because i cant be caught dead wearing the same thing twice this weekend!! what kind of make up am i going to wear? what forms of bling should i carry? is my hair going to an up do or am i going to leave it down? clutch or sling? omg! I NEED SHOES!!! heels only because lord knows i need all the height i can get. oh dear, my arms have gotten bigger... this calls for last minute gym sesh. oh no they dont know about my piercings. do i hide them or wear them proudly?


like i said, love my family but DAMN we gotta break out our A game when we're around the lolas. pshh i dont care if you are speaking about me stealthly in tagalog. I UNDERSTAAAAND YOU EITHER WAY!!!!! anyways, long story short. i survived. as per usual, i come out unscathed.


moral of the story: despite the anxiety attacks, apart from the fact that sometimes they may break my spirit a little, seeing past the notion that YES i am emotionally scarred for lyphe.. they most certainly mean well AND have taught my valuable life lessons.


PAR EXAMPLE:

- appearances, no matter what people say, ARE IMPORTANT. you can argue the latter but at the end of the day, my lola knows. shes got a lifetime of knowledge after all. look good = feel good = biiiiiiiiig profit.


i am a firm believer that we cant judge a book by its cover. HOWEVER. if that cover is not at least a little bit eye catching, then chances are, it wont be open and therefore wont be read. sadface.


and that my friends.. is the ugly truth <3

PostScript
love me like youll never see me again. akeys said it best.

lesson learned.

scenario: at a friends house with her dogs on the couch. the dog wants to play with something on the floor. but the way hes positioned he will fall if he tries to get the item. we tell the dog to stop. dog doesnt listen and tries to get the object. dog falls.

.. girls are like dogs. no matter how many times we're told to stop our foolish behaviour, chances are.. we're still gonna do it. and we're gonna fall. and fall. and FALL AGAIN.

BUT.

at some point. when we've fallen enough, it'll click in our heads like a light bulb. HALLELUJAH. we learned.

end scene.

the writing's on the wall.

1) Thou shall not hate.
2) Thou shall pay bills.
3) Thou shall confess.
4) Thou shall not bug.
5) Thou shall not give in to temptation.
6) Thou shall not think you got it like that.
7) Thou shall not leave me wondering.
8) Thou shall know when he's got to go.
9) Thou shall move on to the next.

10) Thou shall get your party on.
11) Thou shall say my name.
12) Thou shall know she can't love you.
13) If thou can wait, then thou shall stay.
14) Thou shall cherish life.

freeze.

umm LE FUCK?!

rage. TAKE IT. AND GO.
i need to peace it, vancouver. you are being one hell of a female dog to me these days.
i want to go somewhere where i can just chill with my homies and forget about work, drama, and futures.
i would do just about anything to go back to this time last year when i couldnt be bothered with anyone who would boggle my mind so much.

.. im craving a slurpee from petrocan =)

halo.

im only human and thats my saving grace =)

girls make mistakes. we're entitled to do so. but WHY do we insist on making the same mistake multiple times. gahh. i complain about everything and anything that's in my head and yet i still refuse to do something about it. WHY.

thank you, said person, for not only proving me wrong but proving EVERYONE ELSE right.