broken hearted girl.

am i broken hearted? HECK NO. but once again i am pondering muchos. today at work my manager, chels, said that she has never been so happy in her life until recently. how amazing a feeling this happiness. and so i started to think when was the last time i was truly happy about everything and couldnt complain about a lick of my life. and so i thought.. and thought some more.. and then after folding down an entire table i couldnt figure it out. thats kind of sad. and a little bit frightening.

what makes us happy? money. relationships. possessions. etcetcetc. when was the last time you were truly happy about life? are you happy today with whats going on?? sometimes i think we forget to self check ourselves. i sure as heck do. im sorta okay with whats going on. i have a somewhat stable job but would love to get paid more. and possibly have some benefits in my pocket haha. i love my friends, although sometimes i do feel like i spread myself too thin (its tough being populaire bwahaha). and even though i dont have a bf, im fine without. i think guys suck. they lie. they cheat. they steal. they bs us.. according to mya - lie detector. but of course id be lying if i said it wouldnt be nice to be swept off my feet every once in a while. i miss the butterflies, what can i say.

so whats the moral of the story? be happy. its simple and its direct. we always focus on the complicated and this is easy. so easy we oftentimes forget to do it.

choice song: its only life - kate voegele.

questioning existence.

so the other day at work my manager had asked me if she should just buy the purple owl shirt instead of the white. clearly the white one was better so i said "no, G. wait for the white one. never settle." and then it clicked. never settle. im at fault for this always.. settling for less. why do we do that? is it because we're too impatient to wait for the best? or maybe we're not impatient.. maybe we just don't want to end up with nothing; we would much rather have something we kind of want then nothing at all. sad? pathetic? a little bit of both.

i dont know why but as of lately im totally feeling (or re feeling?) the oth soundtracks. if you can, id highly recommend you listen to butch walker's, "mixtape." the intro with the piano.. as simple each clunk of the keys are.. its brilliant! hahahaha i appreciate the little things. when was the last time someone made you a mixtape? hehe. ooh ooh ooh!! and "halo" is also a good song courtesy of haley james scott.. and if you dont watch the show you clearly dont understand that shes the teenager that became rockstar and this was her song, which was totally directed to her exhusband nathan... SO. MUCH. DRAMA in this song. i love it. im only human and thats my saving grace. lyrics can be so powerful sometimes...

heres some food for thought: when life gives you lemons, throw them back only harder =)