by your side.

no one said that life would be easy. no one said that getting what you deserved would be a walk in the park. if i had a penny for every time i heard someone say, "life sucks" i would be a bajillionaire. ya.. BAJILLionaire.

we live in a very tough world and sometimes we forget that despite all the bad, IT COULD BE WORSE. for instance, im currently bitching and complaining about how my current occupation is nothing short of an embarrassment considering i have a degree. i complain about how its taking them 4839843 years to promote me to a position that we've discussed months and months ago. why is it taking ten years past forever? idk either. but im still going to work towards it. its discouraging and sometimes i do want to give up but i wont. as i said before, no one said life was easy. besides, it could be worse: i could have no job. i could be a worker who isnt even being considered for any type of position or promotion. ergo.. THERE IS A BRIGHT SIDE TO EVERYTHING.

"damned if you do damned if you dont." a friend mentioned that to me earlier today and i must say that it got me thinking. its hard to participate in something when knowing the outcome will always "damn" you. whats his solution? just dont do anything. and i guess after all the negative reinforcement that hes received while trying to do right would bring forth that type of attitude BUUUUT!! sometimes i wonder.. wouldnt you rather be the person that kept on giving because its the right thing to do than be the person who quit because life got too hard?!?!

so whats the moral of the story? coach whitey from oth said it best, "So don't be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, cause most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination."

on that note, congrats robert, to your new baby girl!!! cant wait to meet her. i hear shes beautiful =)

untouched.

ive always been a guys girl. you know. the girl thats one of the guys. thats code for, the girl that never cared how she looked. and sometimes i love it. but as of lately ive just enjoyed being a girl! hehe! i actually think about what im going to wear. i paint my nails. and i take extra care of my skin!! its brilliant. right now my bathroom smells like a freaking day spa thanks to the various cleansing products i just used!! hehe now i understand why girls take an hour in the washroom. no lie, my skin is softer than a baby's bottom.

am i a doormat for people who intimidate me. yes. i am afraid of people. not a lot of people. oh but there are people i fear. fear of them judging me (which is funny considering im usually the one doing all the judging!) i stumble on my words. i laugh out of nervousness. hmms.. old habits die hard.

there are these girls that shop at my store on the regular. i call them the trio. they all look the same: long and lean, sleek hair, tight jeans, and decked out as if theyre going to the clubs. ya. you know those girls.. THOSE girls. they make me laugh. although i really cant say theyre terrible people. i dont know them. for all i know they could have a PhD in molecular biology... or theyre high school graduates who live off their drug dealer boyfriends. moral of the story, they are pretty girls. but they are not special. in our younger years we try to fit in and wear what everyone else is wearing. well, over time ive learned that different is good. DIFFERENT is special.

i hate day two. ladies, you know whats up.

oh, happy canada day. sadly i had to work. missed out on all the fun in downtown vancouver. heard there were parades. heard there was a lot of weed passed around too. i kinda wished i got off my lazy ass and watched the fireworks. then again, celebration of lights is less than a month away. seen one fireworks show - seen them all.

its been decided that i need a new cell phone. i dropped mine again when i got out of my car. and by car i mean truck. and by drop i mean a very far distance. i jump when i have to enter my vehicle. sad, but true.

i seem to have forgot that i have unopened bills on my desk. my bills need to be paid by friday. damn. imagine how id do with a mortgage. FUCK LIFE. ive forgotten to pay once again for my MSP. someone really needs to remind me...

bonjour jeune fille.

girls weekend was a success! thank you to those who attended. props to michelle for getting carried out of the club before midnight. happens to everyone haha. why did i fall asleep on hastings? what happened between the hours of 3am - 9am?? WHY DID I DRINK SO MUCH?? oh lord. whatever, we looked cute. hahaha

i love you, house of dosa. you are great. on mondays. when its cheap. i love cheap "baby food wrapped in filo." its far more delicious than i make it sound. trust.

do we love life when its drama infested? methinks so. i think without it we wouldnt appreciate the little things. like silence. or a bed. perhaps even the friends who stick around when you yell at them. sex and the city made me think this: why is it that when life is good we freak out expecting the worst is yet to come? because thats how it happens. or at least, thats how we play it out to be.

amen to amazing weather. too bad i cant live it up on canada day with the rest of the world. i live in retail which means, i work stats. the life ive set myself to have certainly does have its flaws. what was it that i heard.. when you walk through one door, another door has therefore shut itself. DAMN.

i have made it my new goal to find josh jackson as he films fringe. he is my bffs shamef--k. i must find him. so she can meet him. and i can officially dub myself as a celebrity groupie. who knows. i could get so good at this "wheres waldo" game i may have to make it a profession and work for PUNKD images. ahhh shiet.

to all you haters out there: MJ was a music ICON. you hear me? ICON. it bugs the crap out of me when tv broadcast stations make a tribute to his life and add his scandals. YES. he had some bumps in the road but theres no need to put that in his TRIBUTE. you put that closet door dirty shit for the biography. his tribute to him and his music should only be of the positive; of the many influences hes made to popular music and to culture as we know it. take THAT and suck on a lemon.

im craving everything from sweets to sours to savory foods. gahhd i hate this time of the month. go away. i might kill you with my words. you have been warned.

to zion.

And I thank you for choosing me
to come through unto life to be
A beautiful reflection of His grace
See I know that a gift so great
is only one God could create
And I'm reminded every time I see your face...

i forgot how amazing lauryn hill was. so much talent, i tell you!! im listening to her miseducation cd and woah man. intense. now THAT is music.

i have this complex where i cant really say what im thinking and moreso i dance around the words in hopes that the person im speaking with will understand what im trying to say. yes. im effed up and confused and it does take a bit of an extra effort to understand my mind. maybe thats why im always so tired.. im working ten times harder against myself to SPEAK ENGLISH. hahahahaha

im so confused as to what i want to do with my life. do i stay with the glorious and yet very tiresome life of retail OR do i move on to something else; something new? im starting to wonder if im settling..

ive started to shop at different stores. its a big step for me. i havent done that since highschool. and i must say that it feels quite liberating. im not pinned down to wear what i see everyday. i can be a bit more creative. it makes me happy. sirens has good cheap clothes. i highly recommend going there.. especially the park royal location (hollaaaaaaa zf!!)

im am eagerly awaiting saturday. girls night, yayyy!!! so shall it be written so shall it be done.

its human nature to want what you cant have - never forget that. THAT is why women are stupid

eat your heart up.

thank goodness for yet again another two days off in a row! the life of retail doesnt offer those very often.. must. maximize. this. moment. but of course i spend most of my time either in my bed or on the couch. im on my feet all day at work theres no need to be on them some more, vraiment?

MMVAs. i still couldnt handle watching it in full. although i did try. taylor is cuteness wrapped up in a 17 yr old boy. the jonas brothers are, dare i say it, good looking? and my life would definitely suck without kelly clarkson aka one of my fave female vocalists.

happy fathers day!! my dad was kinda tired from an overnight trip to seattle with madre. needless to say, it was a quick appreciation dinner haha

i will live the sex and the city lifestyle. NO not the sex part but more like the HELLO I AM AN INDEPENDENT SUCCESSFUL WOMAN, HOLLAAAAAAAA!!! i WILL have cocktails at 2pm with my lunch. i WILL have a group of ladies over at my house to eat chinese take out and i WILL be part of elite society. its gonna happen. youll see!

fuck i forgot to pay my MSP. the government is going to be looking for me soon. ugh.

the countdown is on: 6 days till "party central" aka the ultimate girls weekend. oh man how ive been waiting. amen!!

sometimes id appreciate it if my past left me alone. dont get me wrong, i appreciate friendly conversation every so often but lets be real. i stopped talking to you for a reason. and between me and set individual, i didnt know you for very long so please give it a rest.

so at the korean restaurant we ate at for daddy's day theres this drink desert that they serve and thank god my entire family hates it because i was then entitled to their share. cold cinnamon deliciousness. OHHH YEEAAAA.

im craving pasta. and salad. patio style.